In Patrick O'Brian's novel, Letter Of the Marquis, one of the two main characters, Steven Maturin, is walking several miles to meet up with his friend Jack. Along the way, he meets a gentleman who is an author. They strike up a conversation, and one of the things the author mentions is how he works out what he is to write by walking. However, if he fully works out what to write, down to the sentence, he finds that the thing is done, and he no longer desires it to be put down on paper. However if he only mostly completes the thoughts and saves the final conclusion for paper, then the writing is committed, and ends well.
As I read this, it rang true for me. Or maybe that is just an excuse for not committing my writing to ink, digital ink. Who knows without paying a lot of money to a therapist. Certainly I do not, at least not for sure.
Tomorrow the kids and I, since Kristen is out of town, will be looking at an apartment to rent in Edmonds, just north of Seattle. We have all found it to be a strange thing to not be going back to our house in Edmonds. So many things about returning have felt like we have never left, but we won't have that same experience at our new home, wherever that may be. At the time we sold our house, we said it wasnt the right house for us anyway, so sell it we must, whether we go sailing or not. But now, well, it would be fairly comforting to come back to that house, warts and all.
Two years ago the thought of being homeless, not in the sense of having a roof or not, but in the sense of not having a home, would have been a little daunting. Now having had that feeling in various degrees over the past two years while sailing, it really isn't as bad as I thought it would be. We are staying in a brand new long term hotel, which is nice enough, and looking for longer term housing, looking for a job, signing up for school, getting our car window repaired after a break in, what joy, haircuts, arranging visits with kid friends, on and on.
Quite oddly, I have yet to visit the Amazon app on my phone to buy "stuff". We fairly funded Amazon for a year or so while outfitting the boat. Of course in Mexico we didn't buy a thing from them, and I wondered if we would fall into our consumer ways once we returned. I find the desire is not there at all. Well at least not enough to open the app. Not yet.
So now we are back to creating action lists that are not boat actions, checking things off, getting things done, and might I say, we are beginning to kick some ass, a very little bit of ass kicking. The kids are doing fine, catching up with school, the dogs have new places to exchange pee mail, and life goes on.
June 8th, 2017